anorexia nervosa
Unstructured and different eating during summer – and trying to follow a meal plan
When i got home from the island (i.e yesterday evening) i began thinking about how food was not an issue and wasnt even something i thought about before saying yes to travelling out to the island. In the past, food, being with others and not being able to stand and exercise as much as i wanted would have been the main reasons i said no to doing anything different than being at home and following my normal routines. During recovery i had to eat the same food at the same time… i couldnt eat anything different from my meal plan, i had to measure my food, i had to eat at the right times… or so that is what i thought, but it was all a …
Being honest with ourselves – and why we do things
Recently i have spent time thinking about why i do things, why are my habits the way they are and why i have certain routines and why i do things. Sometimes we so easily fall into routines and habits and then never question why we began doing them or why we continue doing them.But i have recently questioned myself… why do i do things why are my routines the way they are?Some things are purely habit, others have had past ulterior motives which then just became routine, but now im focused on changing. I am going to be making changes in my life… some big and some small, and some things which i hope to have the courage to change, but dont know if i …
"Depression is quiet"….
I thought this was very cute, but also a reminder to anyone struggling, to reach out and talk to someone.There are people who can understand and help you, but if you dont let them know that you need help or are struggling they might not be able to help you.Keep fighting, it can get better :)Source: https://solar-citrus.tumblr.com/post/98583201090/you-would-be-surprised-with-how-many-people-in
Making sure to eat enough and get enough salt – vegetarian/vegan lunch buffet & my weekly food shop
Hello :)Hope everyone is doing ok 🙂 for me personally I felt absaloutly awful today. No energy, my legs and body felt weak.. just standing took so much energy for me and I had this constant feeling of dizziness and faintness and I almost considered going to the hospital as I felt so incredibly weak – like my legs couldn’t even carry my weight.But I got myself together as I had lunch plans at a vegetarian lunch buffet which I had been looking forward to. And once I got there and began to eat I felt so much better. My energy returning, my mental energy returning and suddenly standing didn’t make me feel like gravity was pushing me back down to the ground. I’ve been eating enough …
Feeling bad for being healthy/normal – eating disorder recovery
When you were recovering, did you ever feel badly about doing well? Like, right now, I almost feel like eating “normally” (ie not having extreme anxiety at a restaurant for dinner) makes me worried. Almost like, waiting for the shoe to drop for when you might relapse because you can’t possibly be doing well…or that being healthy doesn’t feel sustainable. I almost can’t enjoy getting healthy, because I feel like it just isn’t going to last. hope you’re having a good weekend!I think this question is a really good question and im actually surprised that i havent written anything about it before, but this was something i experienced as well. After spending a long time sick it can feel strange and wrong when you finally …
What do you want in your life? – Having goals
I personally believe that having goals in life is very important. It is for me anyway.I’ve never had a 5 year plan or a 10 year plan thinking that when im 20 i’ll be in university, when im 25 i’ll have a great job and my own apartment, when im 30 i’ll have an even bigger apartment and have a dog and a great partner etc etc Those have never been my goals (Well, my own apartment and second dog are goals of mine.) But i know how things such as jobs, partners, when or if you have kids or marry or things like that, you cant just set a date 10 years beforehand. I am not someone who sets deadlines on my goals, but instead just has these goals which …
How to gain weight on a vegan/vegetarian diet
Many think that a vegan(or plant based.. veganism is the actual lifestyle and not just the diet.) or vegetarian diet is just salad and pasta and potatoes, and many think that plant based diet is the way to weightloss, but that is not the case. You can still gain weight on a plant based diet even if it does mean that you do need to consume more volume than if you were to eat all types of food.In recovery i had no choice over what i had to eat. I was forced to eat red meat 1-2 times a day everyday even if i didnt even like it, and there were times where i just refused to eat the meat because i did not think it …
A day of meal prepping, procrastinating and avoiding the sun
Hello :)I had written a post this morning which was going to be posted this evening but it appears to have disapeared, but i guess its just as good… it was mostly just a long ramble of how i feel and thoughts. Maybe a good thing that it wasnt published, haha. But in all honesty, it wasnt a negative “my thoughts” post, thats a shocker. Infact it was about how i am feeling rather happy at the moment. I am feeling content and control of things – somewhat anyway. But i am choosing to be happy, choosing to be positive and making changes in my life that will help that. Distancing myself from social media, unfollowing accounts that give me no inspiration and instead following accounts that inspire …
ED recovery problems
When an unsupportive relative brushes off your eating disorder as a “crash diet”When you are tossed around between more doctors than you can countWhen somebody asks you with admiration what it’s like to have so much “willpower”Preparing yourself for a challenging mealWhen your body is entirely incapable of keeping itself warm, ruining your comfort and your moodPretending to be nonchalant about a meal plan increase(^^^Hahahha, that was always me… i’d sit in the room with my dietician and pretend to not care but on the inside i was like this:
My third test for the term completed and grilled banana snack idea
This Thursday feels alot like Friday, and i cant seem to stop thinking that it is Friday the 13th today… i guess i am just waiting for something bad to happen. However yesterday i kept thinking it was Thursday 12th i.e the day of my test, so i checked the date about 10 times throughout the day… this panicked feeling that i had gotten the day and time wrong for some weird reason and missed my test. When i get obsesive and compulsive thoughts like that – checking the date or time over and over or things like checking that the stove is off 5 times before i leave the house or walking around the apartment 5 times to make sure everything is ok 8 times before i leave, then i …
Back and better than everÂ
Sorry ladies I was having a couple bad days but I’m back bitches. Stronger and skinnier than ever. I convinced my parents to let me go vegan so now all I eat during dinner is vegetables if I even eat at all 🙂 I’ll be back with a longer more focused post tonight but this is just a quick update Stay fucking strong and skinny! Starve on. Xoxo L