This Thursday feels alot like Friday, and i cant seem to stop thinking that it is Friday the 13th today… i guess i am just waiting for something bad to happen. However yesterday i kept thinking it was Thursday 12th i.e the day of my test, so i checked the date about 10 times throughout the day… this panicked feeling that i had gotten the day and time wrong for some weird reason and missed my test. When i get obsesive and compulsive thoughts like that – checking the date or time over and over or things like checking that the stove is off 5 times before i leave the house or walking around the apartment 5 times to make sure everything is ok 8 times before i leave, then i know that i am stressed or have alot of stress inside of me. But now i just want to let all of that go…

I had my test this morning at 8am and i had moments of “I got this, i know how to answer this” and “why are there always questions on things that i dont know so well”. But i guess that is always the way… i cant know everything and all i can do is my best to try to answer. But this time round i had tried to not study in too much detail, but instead have an overall knowledge as well as some small details…. but the small details i thought “werent so important” were the things that were asked about on the test… so not so sure how it went, but hoping i passed anyway, it would be a relief to not have to do a retake test!

After my exam i always get alot of anxiety, thinking about what i answered, what i could have done differently and just feeling like a failure. I dont think i have ever done an exam and felt good or positive, ive always just been stuck in my own head and feel anxiety. So my best tips for coping with those feelings is to 1) Workout or 2) Go home and make myself something delicious to eat and just watch series (or do 1 and then 2!).

So todays post test snack was grilled banana (i added melted coconut oil, agave syrup and vanilla stevia drops) into the banana and then into the oven wrapped in tinfoil, and also whipped some coconut cream (i.e a can of full fat coconut milk where you have frozen the can for a few hours so that you can seperate the coconut milk from the water and then you use an electric whisk to whisk the coconut cream – and i added vanilla stevia drops to the cream). And then i topped the grilled bananas with coconut cream, peanut butter and fruit and that was my delicious second breakfast of the day!!!

Definitely going to make this again as it was so delicious – and tip, place chocolate into the banana before you put it into the oven so that the chocolate melts in the heat.. or add marshmallows as well.

Now i am going to take some time for myself for a few hours before it is time for laundry this evening… hahahah, fun way to spend my Thursday evening 🙂