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Happy Second Birthday Hello Life: Celebrating 2 Years Without A Scale
I still remember the day I gave up my scale two years ago today. It was the most painful day of my life. I didn’t know how I would make it without waking up each morning and knowing what number I was that day. How would I know if I was good? How would I know if I was bad? How would I know anything if I didn’t have my number on the scale to tell me. Today, I know that I am no longer defined by a number. This is what I was defined by today: (a text message from my 11-year-old brother). “Happy Hello Life Day!You taught me what never giving up means. You taught me what it means to …
Goodbye to measuring coffee creamer
Happy Thursday fighters, I know this post comes at a random time, but I had such a hello life moment this morning, I had to share it with you all. I was making my coffee this morning when I realized that my one tablespoon measuring spoon I use to measure my exact one table spoon of coffee creamer each morning was gone. If you guys remember, in my post about taking myself out for breakfast last month, I wrote about how I’ve transitioned coffee creamer back into my life since I started recovery two years ago. First, I started with sugar free coffee creamer and measured a tiny teaspoon of it. Then I moved to fat free creamer and used a tiny teaspoon to measure. Then …
Three Year Flashback To When Coffee Was Lunch
Happy Thursday beautiful fighters, I came across this photo today. It’s a picture of my three little brothers that I took three years ago today. I had taken them out for a fun day of lunch and bowling. Do you see that cup of coffee to the right hand corner on the table? That was my lunch that day–my lunch and breakfast actually. I remember that day because I specifically remember every single Ed thought that I had that day. I even remember the jeans that I wore. (I remember because I chose them because they were my baggiest pair). It was a Sunday so that meant that I was going to my then-boyfriend’s mom’s house for dinner that night. How was …
Seven hours in the life of an eating disorder mind
I talk about self-love a lot. I write about it a lot. I instagram about it a lot. It’s kind of become who I am in my new recovery world.. I’ve been in recovery from my eating disorder for two years now. Naturally, I’m expected to love myself all the time, right? Naturally, I’m expected to not have any more eating disorder thoughts or negative self-talk, right? No. Wrong and wrong again. Maybe in our eating disorder minds that are wired for perfection, those things would be true. But in the mind of a person in recovery, like me, where perfection no longer is an option to strive for, those things cannot be true. So, let me walk you through just …
Time to come together to help others
Happy Tuesday dear fighters, I want to start this post off by saying thank you to all of our fighters around the world to continue to blow me away every day. To the fighters who are wearing their Hello Life bracelets, to the fighters in our multiple online support groups and to the fighters who are there for each other every single day, even a year and a half after this blog ended, thank you. I write this post today to ask for your help. Some of you may know that in the past few months I’ve decided to launch Hello Life’s nonprofit organization in Washington. Our official name is Hello Life Eating Disorder Recovery Services. After years of mentoring others and seeing how much …
Not the only one to eat more than one cupcake
Hello amazing fighters! I’ve been wanting to write a blog post for a while now and today I finally got the little voice that told me it was time. This past week’s experiences are definitely worth a blog post. It truly started on Tuesday when I walked to a local bakery with some of my co-workers for a video we are filming for work. Of course, I knew about this bakery, but they didn’t and they were so excited to check it out. After shooting the video, I felt like it was polite to buy something. And I was with my co-workers who have never been there before, so why not, right? Without question, it wasn’t part of my “Tuesday …
The first fight of 2016
Hello beautiful fighters, It’s the second day of 2016. Only the second day. And here I am, already being thrown into my fight recovery fight of 2016. I was getting my nails done today by the same person who has done them for almost two years now. I was getting ready to leave when out of no where she said, “I remember when you used to be small like me, but now your bigger.” There it was. My biggest recovery fear just came to life. The “now your bigger” comment. I could feel my eyes getting watery and the tears starting to come so I paid and rushed out of there to my car as fast as I could. I sat there in my car …
Celebrating three years of freedom
Happy 3rd Hello Life anniversary fighters! Three years ago today I gave up my scale for good. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, and at the time, I didn’t even know why I truly wanted recovery. I just knew one thing: that I didn’t want to let this scale, this Godlike object, to control my entire world anymore. Seven days after I gave it up, I found myself wanting it back. I missed it. I missed its certainty; I missed its validity; I missed its complete magical ability to tell me if today was going to be a good or bad day and if I was a good or bad person just by stepping on it. I missed the certainty ; …
being aware of weight loss during sickness
Sophie has been home and gone back to uni. Wow 6 weeks at home just flew. It was wonderful having her for so long. She had the usual depression/anxiety drop down during the peak assignment time, but this time didn’t ring me as much. With her new psychologist she handled it herself. Doesn’t mean it […]
negative coping skills
Often we post lots of information about ‘positive’ signs and skills. After all part of recovery is learning to focus on the positive. But what about the negative, how do you recognise negative coping skills. How do you know that the behaviours you are doing are actually harming you or not promoting recovery. We live […]
Returning to School after Eating Disorder Treatment
Originally posted on The Feed: Every year around this time, the back-to-school bonanza begins. Stationery stores are stock-piled with school supplies. Bedding and home stores are advertising all the latest dorm room designs. And clothing stores are clamoring about ways to refresh a fall wardrobe. Photo Credit: Creative Commons by emerille However, if your summer…
the definition of recovery
With thanks to FEAST for this post. They have spelt it out perfectly. Why add to it!? Defining Recovery The goal of eating disorder treatment is full recovery: living life free of eating disorder thoughts and behaviours. There is always hope, even for patients with chronic illness, but the best path to recovery is early intervention and […]