For Valentine’s Day, I surprised the kids with strawberry muffins and a few little gifts.  Here’s a picture:

One was missing because she is in college ( and doing AWESOME I must add!!).

But I’m down to three at home now.  How crazy is that?

I bought those flowers for myself.   This is something I started doing years ago but then for some reason I just stopped doing it.

That seems to be a pattern with me.   Doing things that really work…and then randomly stopping.

(Duly noted….I’ll be having a few conversations with myself later about this….lol)

But I think it’s important to treat yourself.   This is a non-food way to do that and it always brightens up my mood.

Now I didn’t eat any of the muffins myself because had I eaten ONE there would have been zero left for the kids.  Trust me when I say this sort of thing HAS happened before.  It’s where you have to say, “Well I made you all muffins but….”

Or you just hide the evidence and pretend it never happened (done that too!)

On a side note, I have to share this kind of funny thing that happened recently but let me give you the background first.

I used to binge on gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream for many years.  I’m talking Bluebell ice cream.  If you’re from Texas you probably feel me on this!

So clearly when I started out to lose weight, I had to stop doing THAT.

For a very long time after that I just never bought ice cream.  But then Texas had this whole Blue Bell catastrophe where it disappeared for awhile and then it was back.  And everyone in the world was talking about it.  There was a restriction on how much you could buy at the store because everyone was going crazy for it.  I actually thank God that I lost weight and stopped binging when this happened.  I can only imagine how I would have felt had I still been in that phase of life and then the ice cream suddenly disappeared but was brought back with a restriction of how much you could buy.

With all the hype, my kids really wanted some so I relented and bought it.   I really don’t find it a temptation anymore because I make protein shakes sometimes in the blender which to me taste really great and fulfill that ice cream craving.  So I wasn’t tempted to eat any myself or go crazy.

I did however notice that after 24 hours —

My kids never touched that ice cream again.

There it sat in the freezer day after day and they just never touched it.

Thinking to myself that my kids have amazing self restraint, I commented to them about it.

That’s when Charlotte said, “Well you can’t eat it after 24 hours.   It expires”

HUH??

And that’s when I realized that my children had NEVER seen ice cream stay in the freezer more than a day.  In their entire life, they had never seen that.  They had put ice cream in the same category as other things that go bad quickly if you don’t eat them right away.  And why?  Because in their experience ice cream is gone immediately.   You never see it after 24 hours.

This is what it’s like growing up with a mom who binge eats ice cream.  I guess I started out saying that was funny but instead it feels sad.  Maybe a bit of both.  I can laugh now because I no longer binge eat ice cream.  And because I no longer am over 400 pounds feeling like I have no hope.  But it’s important to realize that the things we do can seep into the minds of those around us creating a reality that may not be true.  Like the idea that ice cream expires in a day.

As long as we’re on the topic of ice cream, I wanted to mention the brilliance of using protein shakes as ice cream.  There are times when trying to create a substitute for something is a bad idea if it leads back to the real thing but this is not something I have had an issue with.  Granted I don’t make my protein shakes to be the actual consistency of ice cream.  I don’t have an ice cream maker or anything like that.  But there are times I have blended them with ice to make them have a more true consistency of a shake.  It’s actually a really great way to fulfill that evening craving for something sweet.  That desire to snack on something while watching your favorite show.  And in the past week I have returned to this routine.   And I’m actually pretty excited about it!!

At first I tried using vanilla protein powder mix but I just didn’t like it as much as my trusty Atkins shake that I’ve been using forever.  Now generally I just drink my Atkins shakes straight.  However I decided to make ONE shake for the evening that I freeze.

For the past week I have been doing this:

• Vanilla Atkins Shake
• 2 Tbsp PB Fit
• 1 Banana
• Ice

My friend Jenny gave me the brilliant idea of adding PB2 or PB Fit to it.  This is very low cal and low carb but gives it the taste of peanut butter.   I used to binge on Reeses so I have always been afraid to try adding this to my shakes.  It hasn’t triggered me in the least bit so I encourage you to try it if you never have.   Keeping some variety does help in avoiding boredom within the routines of life.  Jenny also makes hers with spinach but I tried that and I didn’t like it.  I’m not giving up on it.  Especially since lately I do love spinach.  I just need to keep reworking the amount perhaps until I have it just right.

I put the shake in the freezer for several hours.  It becomes the consistency of an Italian Ice.  Later in the evening I will take it out and chip away at it with a fork.  It starts to melt and become easier to eat as time goes on.  It takes literally forever to snack on this and I never even eat the whole thing.  Today I decided I will cut the recipe above in half because after freezing it I just don’t eat all of it due to the effort it takes chipping away!  This is a great thing though.  I get the feeling of snacking on something sweet but with minimal impact to the daily calorie/carb budget.

On a sidenote…don’t leave it in the freezer too long.  I also put my water in there sometimes to get it really cold.  I forgot it was in there last night and the glass was broken this morning.  OOOPS!

I’ve been putting water in a mason jar and adding lemons and limes

Recently I bought these smoothie straws at the grocery store.  I paid 1 dollar for a huge pack of them.  They are colorful and make drinking water and shakes a lot more fun.  I mean hey….you do what you gotta do to motivate yourself!!

I am going to actually write an entire post on just my water and shake routines because this has suddenly transformed my life overnight.  I know that sounds really crazy to say but it has.  I will never again underestimate the importance of water in the daily routine to stave off hunger and keep yourself on the right track.  I used to drink a lot of water when I first started losing weight but admittedly I get bored with it.   Since I started putting it in a mason jar and adding things to it for a little flavor along with a pretty straw—it’s like all of a sudden I actually look forward to it.   I know this seems like such a simple thing to do and it is but I’m still shocked by how much easier it’s made my life when it comes to accomplishing this goal.

For dinner last night, I actually created something myself.

I know..I know….I’m kind of a disaster in the kitchen but having a few recipes lately work out for me gave me courage…

I just used some things I had in the house along with a pork roast I had found on sale.  I suppose I will call it Spicy Pork Roast because it was definitely a bit spicy.   My son, CJ, really loved it but my other kids thought it was too hot.  CJ ate his inside of a tortilla with sour cream and salsa.  I skipped the tortilla but also ate it the same way otherwise.   I actually really liked this and I will make it again.  However, I should probably use less of the hot sauce next time since my other kids weren’t totally on board with their mouth catching on fire!!

Spicy Pork Roast

• Pork Roast
• Crushed Red Pepper Flakes
• Half bottle of Cholula Hot Sauce
• Diced Onions
• Minced Garlic
• Small can of jalapeno slices
• Water added (not sure exactly how much now!)

Here is Charlotte really being a trooper and eating it anyway even though she said it was too hot!!

Oh my…CJ really needs a haircut!!  After having 3 girls who all have long hair, I am still not used to how often you have to take your son in to get his haircut if you want to maintain a style of any kind.

Only having to plan ONE MAIN MEAL has been the best thing I’ve done in a long time.   I am keeping my daytime eating to the basics.   I alternate coffee and water through the day listening to physical hunger.   At some point I may drink a ready to go Atkins shake or make an omelette if I feel truly hungry.   And in the evening I prepare the main meal which doesn’t overwhelm me because it isn’t the 6th meal of the day I have had to try and make.   I have always felt overwhelmed on diets that give me 3 main meals and 3 mini snacks.  Even if they’re simple.    To me it’s just too much to deal with.   This allows me to be free from thinking about food too much and focus on one meal at a time to really prepare.   Also if that meal is the main one of the day I don’t have to worry too much if it is a little more caloric or carby than I would like.  I haven’t overloaded on calories and carbs during the day so I have plenty of room saved up.   It doesn’t mean I go crazy it just means I don’t freak out if a recipe has more than 10 carbs or a few more calories!

Tonight I am going to be making Crock Pot Turkey White Bean Pumpkin Chili 

I will NOT be revealing to the children that there is pumpkin in it until after they determine if they like it or not!

Thanks again to all of you for being there on the other side of this computer screen.  What a journey it is when we travel it together.  I’ve missed my ‘friends’ out there.  Whether we have met or not you are a part of my life and an important one at that.  I believe God has brought so many people into my life that I would never have met otherwise through this blog.  I know when we lift each other up and carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)  we find a way to make it out of the fog.

I hope you know that I will never take that for granted.

So if you feel discouraged today, know that you are not alone.  Even when you are discouraged in your own efforts to lose weight or get food under control—the fact that you take the time to encourage me or someone else—does make a difference. And that alone I believe will help YOU in turn.  Just being there for others means you are still in this game.  There have been times (especially the past few years) when all I could do was pray for someone else and cheer them on because I felt so out of control in my own life.  But I believe this act of encouraging someone else even when we ourselves feel discouraged actually does really feed our spirit.  The more we do this the more we feel the hope as well.

You are important to me and I know that as you continue to keep trying it gives me more inspiration to keep trying too.  Know that wherever you are on your journey whether it’s at the top or down in the pit….you matter.  And you matter more than you know.

Especially to me

Were it not for the individuals who continued to reach out to me, email me, contact me, and comment on the very last post I had written no matter how long ago it had been since I had posted it— just to let me know they still believe in me…

If not for those people I may never have found the courage to return to blogging.

And more than to return to TRYING.

So for that I am so very grateful.  I pray for you daily and I thank God that He has brought some of the most truly giving and generous people into my life that I needed at just the right time!

(c) 300 Pounds Down – Read entire story here.